


The One You Love The Most

by DiYunho



Category: DCU, Joker - Fandom, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom, The Joker dcu - Fandom, joker DCU
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Love, Danger, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Family, Family Bonding, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Family Feels, Feelings, Feels, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Idiots in Love, Insanity, Invention, Joker - Freeform, Joker dcu - Freeform, Jonathan Crane - Freeform, Light Angst, Loss of Control, Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Mad Scientists, Masks, Protectiveness, Psychological Drama, Psychological Horror, Research, Scarecrow - Freeform, Science, Science Experiments, Search for a Cure, Silence, Strong Female Characters, The Joker - Freeform, The Joker Jared Leto, The Joker Suicide Squad, The Joker fanfiction, The Joker imagine, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-18 04:19:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17573750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiYunho/pseuds/DiYunho
Summary: You older brother, Jonathan Crane, was showing The Joker his latest psychological weapon when things went wrong. As a result, The King of Gotham won’t be able to see your face or hear your voice again until The Scarecrow finds an antidote. If he can find one, that is…





	The One You Love The Most

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

You just got out of the shower and take a look at your cell: 6 missed calls from your brother. Must be something important. You immediately dial back his digits and he picks up right away.

“Hey, Jonathan.”

“Sis, is J back yet??” he yells in the phone, panicking.

“No, I don’t think so. I was in the shower for the last 15 minutes. I can barely hear you; where are you?”

“At my cabin, bad signal in the woods!”

“What was that? Your voice sounds so distorted, can’t really make out what you’re saying,” you frown, taking him off the speaker to see if it will help any.

“I think J is on his way to the Penthouse. Don’t let him see you or hear your voice! Do you understand? I’m coming!” your older sibling shouts, looking around for his car keys.

“What?” you ask, confused. You just heard bits and pieces.

“Don’t let him see you or hear your voice, Y/N!”

“Huh, why?!”

“Just listen to me, I don’t have time to explain, the signal is terrible!”

“What did you say? You’re cutting out!” you move around the bedroom, hoping for an improvement.

“Don’t… let …him… … … OK?” the muffled warning barely makes it through before the call is dropped.

“Jonathan? Hello?…”

You try to call him a few times without success; it goes straight to voicemail.

What in the world is going on?! you wonder, getting dressed for the evening.

Suddenly, you distinguish heavy steps on the hallway, then a door being slammed.

“J?” you get out of the master bedroom, quickly scanning the premises.

There’s clamoring coming from upstairs and you follow the noise.

“J?”

No answer but you find yourself in front of his office; the commotion is coming from inside. You open the door and step in. The Joker is breathing so loud it startles you. His forehead leans on the filing cabinet, broken glass at his feet.

“Are you alright?” you rush by his side, touching his waist.

“Get out!” he hisses, wheezing, struggling to keep it together. “Something is wrong, get out!”

“I just talked to Jonathan and…”

J turns his head towards you and in a split second you find yourself crushed against the wall, his hands around your neck so tight the bones will snap soon. The strong pressure is extremely intense; you can’t make a sound. You dig your nails in his skin, trying to push him away but he still won’t let go. His eyes are bloodshot, there’s nothing inside but the abyss. You feel you will pass out soon.

“Boss, what are you doing?!” Frost dashes inside, followed by other henchmen. Jonny attempts to pull the Joker away and he won’t budge. More of your men jump him and finally manage to separate you two. J keeps on snarling and growling, just like a rabid beast. You fall to the floor, coughing and deeply inhaling, hungry for air. The last thing you see is your boyfriend fighting everyone, completely out of control and them finally managing to pin him to the floor while he still wants to reach you so he can finish what he started.

******************

“Hi sis,” you hear your brother’s voice as you open your eyes. His fingers rest on your bruised up neck, holding a cold compress around it.

“Jonathan…” you barely whisper, straining to talk; your voice sounds raspy and it hurts so bad your eyes get watery.

“Don’t talk, please. Your vocal cords are inflamed and swollen; he almost broke your neck,” your sibling gulps, worried sick. “After I called and couldn’t reach you, I tried Frost and all the numbers I have on my phone. I’m glad I was able to get a hold of your people.”

“Where’s J ?” you mutter, trying to get up. The burning sensation in your throat makes you fall back on the pillows.

“Stop talking, Y/N. He’s fine now,” Jonathan releases his grip, taking a sit on the bed. The look in your eyes gives him no choice but to explain what happened. “I was showing him what I’m working on and he yanked the canister out of my hand to take a better look. It accidentally opened and J was exposed to the gas; I had my mask on so it didn’t affect me. The room filled up so quickly with the thick fumes I couldn’t see anything anymore. He ran out before I could stop him,” you brother explains, repeatedly kissing your right hand, feeling very guilty his only sister was affected by this new invention. Otherwise, he wouldn’t give a damn.

“It makes you… kill people?” you struggle to swallow; it’s so difficult to even breathe right now.

“It makes you…let go,” he sighs, giving up on asking you not to talk because you won’t listen. ” Once you are exposed to the vapors , all the anger, chaos and rage you keep bottled up inside will surface in a few moments after … after…” he stops, staring at the ceiling.

“After what?” you touch his arm, curious and upset in the same time.

“After… you see the face of the person you love the most or hear their voice…or both…” Jonathan glares at your hand that he keeps on kissing.

You feel you heart sink.

“That’s… that’s fucked up!” and the effort of trying to speak loud makes your throat constrict even more.

“It didn’t sound like a praise; you would normally be thrilled with something twisted like this,” he sniffles, attempting to joke.

“Not if it impacts my life,” you get on your elbow, your husky voice shaking with anxiety.

“Well, if you ever had any doubts if he loves you or not, now you know.”

“It’s not funny!” you cut him off, coughing up a storm and he helps you up so you can sit by him.

“I know, I’m sorry…” he remorsefully apologizes for his mistake.

“Is there an antidote?”

“Not yet; I wasn’t planning to make one but now I’ll have to. The rage goes away on its own if he doesn’t see you or hears you for about 30 minutes. But he will react to seeing your face or hearing your voice every single time. You’ll have to cover up your face with a mask around him and don’t make a sound. Not until I find a remedy…ok?”

“Did you tell him?” you inquire, whimpering.

“U-hum…as expected, he wasn’t very happy…and that’s an understatement…” Jonathan squeezes you to his side and you start crying on his shoulder.

***************

You sneak in the master bedroom, wearing one of the cute masks you usually use when you go on heists. The Joker is by the window, deep in thought, gazing outside at the light up Gotham buildings. He feels your presence and turns around, analyzing you as you approach.

“Stay away from me, Doll !” he sneers, biting on his lower lip.

You nod a no and continue to approach.

“Go lock yourself in one of the bedrooms and don’t come out!” he commands and you stop in front of him, pointing towards your mask. “I know what your brother said, but I don’t trust myself. Go!” he points his finger towards the door, backing out.

You boyfriend notices the marks on your neck and lowers his hand, distressed.

“I… I do a lot of stuff… but this wasn’t intentional,” J mumbles, mostly to himself but you heard it anyway.

You nod a yes and he stops you when you move closer.

“Go away, Y/N!”

You ignore his request and seem so eager to hug him that The Joker doesn’t push you away; he hesitantly places his arms around you, tightly holding you.

After a few minutes, you break the embrace and he sadly watches you head towards the door, thinking you are going away. But you just turn off the light and now it’s dark. Only the faint glimpse coming from the outside nightlife illuminates the room.

“What are you doing, Princess?” He distinguishes your shape as you take off your mask and he closes his eyes. “Don’t do that! Get out of here!”

You are not afraid though: you trust Jonathan and what he told you. As long as J can’t see or hear you, you should be fine. You drag J in bed, cuddling to him and he doesn’t really fight it. You won’t know, but he is very scared he will open his eyes and see you even if it’s dark. He keeps his eyelids shut together so firmly it stings and you kiss them, signaling him to relax.

“You shouldn’t stay here,” he grumbles in your ear, but doesn’t let go. “I can’t believe you’re the trigger for me, Pumpkin. How embarrassing for The King Of Gotham to care about his girl that much, right?… I thought the catalyst would be Frost,” he sniffles your perfume, then finds your lips and kisses you.

Your chest is going up and down in a silent laugher, until the pain in your neck makes you stop.

“That’s a good one, hm? I’m hilarious…” The Joker concludes, but he sounds unhappy; not the usual sarcasm you would expect. “Jonathan hid all your pictures we have around the Penthouse and erased the images of you from my cell. Apparently, I can’t see you at all. Or hear your voice. This really sucks, Pumpkin,” he buries his face in your cleavage and you brush your lips on his forehead. “Does this mean we can’t have sex until he finds the antidote? Because you get so loud and scream my name and all…Are you laughing again? Yes, I’m funny…” he sulks and you cover his ears. “What does it mean, Doll?” he tries to guess. “Earplugs?”

He takes you kissing him as a yes and he’s correct.

“Hey, maybe loud music too, just in case…” he rambles on and he gets another kiss. “Is that a yes? Cool. But I like to hear you,” he pouts, glad he distracted you away from the real issue for a while.

You are grateful he distracted himself from it.

***************

Your brother is working like crazy to find a cure for his psychological weapon. Two months have passed and the experiments failed so far. The last attempt was last week at Jonathan’s hideout. J was chained to the wall and you took off your mask. You didn’t even have a chance to speak a word: the second he saw your face, he went insane, fighting to get to you and your sibling, wanting to tear you both to pieces. The Joker was struggling so violently that the chains were hurting his skin and you had to sedate him in order to make him stop.

Another unsuccessful trial.

****************

Three more months go by and nothing. Every time the Scarecrow finds something, it just doesn’t work. His genius and skill have the right approach, but something doesn’t click together. The whole ordeal makes life very difficult for you and J: he hates it that he can’t see you or hear you at all. You detest wearing those masks you used to like, not being able to make a single sound: you write things on paper or text him, the only ways you can communicate.

You can’t even cry or laugh in his presence; it makes you so depressed when you have to run away from him in order to bowl your eyes out due to your frustration reaching insufferable heights. And you can’t laugh out loud at his jokes; The Joker assumes you are by your body language – the silent chuckle doesn’t please him. He misses you giggling at his stupid pranks and the puns he comes up with just for you. The silence is becoming unbearable. And he thought he would be happy with you not talking so much all the time.

How embarrassing for The King Of Gotham to care about his girl that much.

****************

Something kind of worked yesterday: Jonathan tested the new formula and after J heard your voice it took about 30 seconds before he lost it, not an instant reaction anymore.

Your brother wants to do another experiment today after adding a new component to the equation. While he’s putting everything together, you are preparing your boyfriend in the lab.

“I’m sooo sick of this!” The Joker fusses, taking his jacket off. “Why is he so slow in finding a remedy??!” J cracks his fingers, irritated. “Come chain me!” he urges you, mad before the trial even begins. “I really miss you, goddammit!!” and the chair he’s supposed to sit on gets kicked and knocked to the floor. You silently watch his tantrum because you can’t say anything anyway. It breaks your heart since you are aware The Joker didn’t even realize he admitted that aloud.

You hug him from behind and he cools down, taking deep breaths and fixing his green hair that’s not perfectly sleek as a result of the outburst. “Fuck, I really wanna see you, Kitten!” he chews his words, holding your hands and he feels your kiss on his back.

You take advantage of the fact that he’s not facing you, rapidly yanking your right arm away and press the button that seals the lab. The hissing sound makes him turn around.

“What are you doing, Y/N?” he asks, confused.

You are very aware this is not the best idea ever, but you can’t help it. You’re more impulsive than he is.

“It’s Ok, baby,” the words echo in the lab and his eyes get big, already slave to the trigger.

“Stop talking! Get out!” and he pushes you towards the door, frantically breathing.“What’s the code? Open it! You have a few seconds before I won’t know you anymore!”

“Only me and Jonathan know the code. He’s upstairs, he won’t help.” You take your mask off and crush it under your feet before he can stop you. “Look at me!” you force his face towards you and he shuts his eyes, shaking from the pressure building up inside him. He can’t control it for too long. “Open your eyes, J. You already heard my voice, seeing me won’t change the outcome. All the same now,” you keep your composure and he finally blinks, gazing upon his woman after so many months.

“Run!” he growls, the intoxicating anger taking over more.

“No,” you cup his face and those deep, almost inhuman sounds he’s starting to make give you goosebumps.

“Hide, do something!!!!!” The Joker pushes you away with all his strength and you trip on some cables, falling down on your side.

“Try not to hurt me,” you whimper while he bangs his head against the heavy glass door, the world starting to fade. His fingers scrape the electronic pad, J’s last attempt to make the doors open so you can flee.

You slide on the floor towards the corner of the lab, trembling and bracing for what’s coming, doubtful about your decision. The Joker grunts and switches his position, the bloodshot eyes searching around to see if there’s someone whom he can tear apart. That’s the only thing he wants: to kill, break and crush.

You watch him come closer, snarling; he definitely noticed you since you didn’t even try to hide.

“J, please stop…” your shaky voice pleads as you bring your knees up to your chin. He has such a feral expression on his face it makes you cringe. “I will fight you but you’re stronger,” you gulp, tears falling down your face. “Calm down, OK?”

He’s getting closer.

“If the person you love the most triggers this, why can’t they stop it? Please stop!!!” you beg, so tense every muscle in your body twitches with anticipation. ” It’s me…” and you don’t have a chance to continue because he charges at you, grabbing and slamming you to the floor, punching and trying to choke the life out of you. You kick him and fight his rampage, sensing you’re going to lose the battle soon.

“Stop! It’s me! Stop!” you punch him in the face as hard as you can and he gets a bit dizzy, releasing his hold for a moment. You take advantage of it and push him aside, crawling away, coughing and crying in the same time. You feel your leg being scratched and scream in pain while The Joker wants to pull you under him again.

“It’s me, stop!” you shout, blood dripping from your busted lip and the taste of it makes you gag.“You’re k-killing me, s-stop…” you stutter when his fingers find their way to your neck again. You grunt under his weight, wiggling and clawing at his shirt, trying to get him off you. “ You’re…k-killing m-me…” you manage to repeat and he pins your hands above your head, enraged you’re feisty.

Since he’s not strangling you anymore, at least you can talk.

“You s-said you miss me,” you squirm to break free. “You’ll miss me even more if I’m dead!” He stares at you, not understanding the meaning of what just came out of your mouth. “ Don’t kill me…” you look in his eyes and he keeps on staring back. “ Please…let go… you’ll miss me more if I’m dead,” you whimper, not breaking eye contact.

The Joker’s face comes really close to yours and he sniffles on your scent, intrigued. His nails and cold rings dig at your wrists and you contain the burning ache, continuing to speak.

“Don’t you recognize me?… It’s me…It’s me,” you carefully remove your left hand from his hold so you won’t provoke him more. “Don’t you recognize your girl?” you gently touch his cheek and he growls, confused. “It’s your Y/N, don’t kill me…”

You're so stiff, getting ready to fight in case he attacks again. But his head unexpectedly drops on your chest, his body relaxing a bit. He’s wheezing so loud you’re afraid he will faint.

**************

Jonathan dials the code to open the lab, wondering why the hell it’s sealed. He steps inside and gasps when he sees the signs of a struggle, broken vials and blood on the floor.

“Jesus…” your brother mutters, stunned when he realizes you are trapped against the far wall with The Joker’s head in your lap, his arms wrapped around your knees. He’s breathing is erratic and seems in a deep daze.

“Sstttt,” you gesture, exhausted. You and J are full of bruises and cuts, your clothes ripped and stained with blood.

“What the hell happened?!” Jonathan whispers and kneels by you, wiping some blood from your lips.“Where’s your mask?!”

“I’ll tell you later, let him sleep. Can you bring me a blanket?” you quietly demand, still shaking from the incident.

“Of course,” he crinkles his nose, getting up and strutting towards the exit, eager to find out about the events.

The Joker mumbles something you can’t understand and you stroke his cheek, relieved. J was impossible to control without an antidote and yet, he didn’t kill you.

How embarrassing for The King Of Gotham to care about his girl that much.


End file.
